Love is like a frog

Ok, I've been thinking about this lately. I like to make analogies and theories in my head that make sense to me. Here's one of my new ones. Love is like a frog. A frog starts out as a tadpole. In the beginning, it is very limited in what it can do. It swims around, eats, and grows. It is very much concerned with survival and growth. Eventually, this tadpole starts to grow legs. It continues to develop until it becomes a frog, hopping all over the place and eating flies. It must learn how to use these new legs, though. Unfortunately, the only way to learn how to hop is trial and error. No matter how much a frog watches another frog hop, it will not be able to hop itself until it tries over and over again. This is, no doubt, a very painful process as it keeps making mistakes and landing on its face. Eventually, however, the frog becomes very adept at hopping.

Ok, here's how it made sense in my head. Love starts out very limited. When we start to understand love, in high school for example, it's like a tadpole. It is very limited in its scope and ability. We tend to look at love then as a benefit to us. "She loves me, and I like that. It benefits me to be in love."

As we grow, however, and learn more about ourselves and more about love, it starts to change shape completely. We start to realize that love is not a self-centered endeavor. We have to get out of the water that is so comfortable to us in order to get where we want to be. We also have to learn how to truly love. This is a painful process. You cannot really learn how to love by watching other people be in love. Yes, you may observe a few things that you want to do when you're in love, but the actual loving part is an experience that can only be perfected with practice. It is a trial and error process. We often become frustrated when relationships don't work out because we feel like we're back at square 1. As far as a relationship goes, you may be back at square 1, but as far as love goes, you're hopping right along.

Ok, let's break with the frog analogy. Learning to love, falling in love, and finding the person you want to spend eternity with are all daunting tasks. I admit to frustration over failed relationships. I hate the square 1 feeling. But when you meet someone new, and the excitement comes back, even stronger than it was before, the lessons you have learned about love will make an even sweeter experience.

I didn't used to like the idea of dating a girl that had dated a lot of guys. I felt like it would make it harder for her to fall in love with me because she would have so much to compare to and long for from previous relationships. I now understand that love builds on itself. Loving increases the ability to love. There is no limit to love. It's not like we all have $100 worth of love to give out how we choose. When we give love, we learn to love even more truly and unselfishly.

Then, when we find someone that truly loves us back, the trial and error process that hurt so much seems so worth it. We understand that without it, we would not have been prepared to love this person the way they deserve to be loved.

The heartache and pain we experienced in past relationships was because we would need that extra ability for the one we will ultimately find. We will be grateful that we kept hopping, because she is worth every fall on our face and more.

I may have fallen on my face a lot. It's taken me a while to learn how to hop really well. I'll tell you this, though, when I finally find the one I'm looking for, I will understand what I have. The pain of my learning process will be the best thing that ever happened to her. I'll be ready.