The Anticipation of Today

Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think. Ok, I lay in bed and think every night. Sometimes, though, I can't sleep because I think so much. Most of the time this is the case, it's because I'm excited about some upcoming event. These events can be anything: seeing a certain person, traveling somewhere, a holiday, a sporting event, turning in a big assignment, a forecasted storm, a trip to the temple, wondering what event will make the next day significant, etc. I used to hate that I had trouble falling asleep at night. Then I realized the reason.

I'm very grateful that I have things in my life that I look forward to often enough to make sleeping seem burdensome. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping. There are few feelings in the world better than going to bed and not setting an alarm, pure bliss. At the same time, I'm so blessed to have people and events in my life that I love more than sleep. People occupy the majority of my thoughts. Even the events are usually centered around people.

With the Christmas season upon us, I've been thinking about people more. I've been trying to figure out how I can make someone's life better. I think that's what the Christmas season is about, at least to me. That's what Christ would do if he were here, and that's whose birth I'm celebrating. With Christ it was always about people, and I want to be like Him. That's what I've been thinking about lately when I should be sleeping.

Today's Quest: 1000 push-ups

So I do this from time to time. Throughout the course of the day, I am attempting to do 1,000 push-ups. I usually average about 200/day, so 1,000 shouldn't seem like that much of a long shot, but after about 600 my arms feel like rubber. I'll keep updating with my current status for those that would like to follow along/cheer me on/belittle my efforts/trash talk/or any other option you can think of.

Current push-up count: 1,000

1:26 p.m. - 600 push-ups.

3:36 p.m. - 700 push-ups. I'm definitely slowing. It's gone from sets of 50 to sets of 10.

5:31 p.m. - 800 push-ups. Every set is a struggle now. My arms are hurting even when I'm not doing pushups.

7:45 p.m. - 900 push-ups. It's all will power from here on out.

11:53 p.m. - 1,000 push-ups. My chest and shoulders are on fire. Tomorrow is gonna be bad. I did it, though! 1,000 push-ups in a day. Booyah! It hurts so good!

Today I'm Grateful for...

The soundtrack to Les Miserables. It speaks to my soul.

The talk "Of things That Matter Most" by President Uchtdorf.

"Yet amidst the multitude of voices and choices, the humble Man of Galilee stands with hands outstretched, waiting. His is a simple message: "Come, follow me." And He does not speak with a powerful megaphone but with a still, small voice. It is so easy for the basic gospel message to get lost amidst the deluge of information that hits us from all sides."

One of my favorite talks ever, "Brightness of Hope", by Elder Maxwell

"Hope helps us walk by faith, not by sight. This can actually be safer. When unaided spiritually, natural sight often shrinks from the odds. It is immobilized by improbabilities. Mauled by his moods and intimidated by his fears, the natural man overreacts to, while hope overrides, the disappointments of the day."

The rainy-ness of today. There's a surrealness, a heaven-and-earth-meeting feeling, when the weather matches your mood.

Today I'm grateful for...

The warmth on a beautiful fall day.

The chance I have to be at school.

The two granola bars that have been my sustenance.

The uneasy optimism of the unknown.

The anticipation of a great weekend of sports.

Unconditional love, in all its manifestations.

Unwaveringly loyal friends.

Hope is the Hero's Domain

I love quotes, and I love reading. I was recently looking through some old quotes I had written down from books I've read. Here are two that I especially loved:

"...as ordinary as we might be, we can, if we choose, take the harder road, walk forth bravely under the indifferent stars. We can hazard the ravages of chance. We can choose to endure what seems unendurable, and thereby open up the possibility of prevailing. We can awaken to the world as it is, and, seeing it with eyes wide open, we can nevertheless embrace hope rather than despair. When all is said and done... hope is the hero’s domain and not the fool’s. Because we dare to hope—even when doing so might undo us—we leave the worlds we create behind us, swirling in our wakes, eternal and effervescent with the beauty of our aspirations.”

-Daniel James Brown, The Indifferent Stars Above

“You have to study and learn so that you can make up your own mind about history and everything else but you can’t make up an empty mind. Stock your mind, stock your mind. It is your house of treasure and no one in the world can interfere with it. If you won the Irish Sweepstakes and bought a house that needed furniture would you fill it with rubbish? Your mind is your house and if you fill it with rubbish from the cinemas it will rot in your head. You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.”

-Frank McCourt, Angela's Ashes

And this is why I love reading.

Am I excited for General Conference?

Does a one-legged duck swim in a cirlce?! Yes, I'm excited. Very excited. I love General Conference more than warm chocolate chip cookies and a giant glass of cold milk. Questions will be answered, the spirit will be felt, and life will be better.

I didn't always love conference as much as I do now, though. I remember growing up, the reason I loved conference was because I didn't have to put church clothes on and go to church. I got to lay on my couch in whatever clothes I wanted, curl up with my favorite blanket, and sleep for two good hours. Then I would wake up, have a delicious meal, and promptly retire to the same couch for another uninterrupted two-hour nap. When I started to get a little older, my mom started interrupting my naps periodically, but they were still delightful. That all changed one year.

I was a sophomore in high school. At this point in my life I was making a slightly more diligent effort to stay awake, but I was by no means the model conference watcher. I went to the Priesthood Session with my dad and my brothers as was the tradition. I was already looking forward to our semi-annual Fuddruckers trip after the session. The metal chairs in the back of the dark chapel are much harder to sleep on than my self-contoured couch at home. Plus, I had made a personal commitment not only to stay awake, but to pay attention the whole time. The last three speakers of every Priesthood Session are the First Presidency. At the time, they were Pres. Faust, Pres. Monson, and Pres. Hinckley. I don't remember what Pres. Faust talked about, but I remember being captivated. I couldn't look away. I don't remember a single word he said, but I distinctly remember how I felt. Pres. Monson then spoke about Priesthood Power. I don't remember much of that talk either. I've always loved Pres. Monson's talks, though, and been impressed by his lifelong commitment to the Spirit. Pres. Hinckley spoke about why we do some of the things we do. Again, much of what was said has slipped my memory. I need to go back and review those talks, but their impact changed my life.

I remember watching those three men speak. It all became so clear. They were actually what I had believed all along. They were Heavenly Father's servants on earth. They speak with Him. The impact of this knowledge changed my perspective. There are actually people on earth who receive instruction from Heavenly Father for His church. These instructions were not just for members of the "Mormon" church. These men spoke in behalf of Heavenly Father and He was the Father of everyone on earth. This is why it was so important to my parents and grandparents to watch and pay attention to conference. It was more than something they were "supposed" to do.

This experience changed the way I look at a lot of things. I now look forward to conference. I relish the opportunity to listen. I have no problem staying awake anymore. Answers come and I understand their source now. The talks we get to hear this weekend will provide direction from a Heavenly Father that knows us individually and cares about our individual progress. Booyah! Here's to an amazing conference weekend!

Priesthood

I've been studying President Packer's talk from the last conference for the last couple weeks. It's called "The Power of the Priesthood" and it's got me thinking a lot. It's an incredible talk and I would encourage you all to read it. I've been impressed with how much the Priesthood is about doing the things that Christ would do and standing in His place. Given my writing kick as of late, I wrote a poem about my thoughts on what it means to hold His Priesthood:

To do the things that He would do;

To be aware of the silent few;

To use my hands in His behalf

To bless the wheat and tare and chaff;

To use my strength and heart and time

To aid His children on their climb;

To lift the weary, wandering soul

Closer to Him, that is my role.

To say the things that He would say

Both in my prayers and throughout the day;

To choose my words most carefully

So those who hear know whose I be;

To seek His guidance every day

At work, at school, or at play;

To praise His name, but even more

Let my deeds reflect whom I adore.

To be the places He would be;

To serve His children cheerfully;

If ever I'm inclined to sin

I pray my better part will win;

I promise to devote my days

to build His kingdom in simple ways;

Bearing His priesthood isn't free

And this is what it means to me.