Powerless, Powerful Pain

Pain is a paradox, for simplicity's sake

In physical terms, it can cause you to quake

It can hinder your progress, or allow you to grow

In emotional terms, though, its true colors show

On the physical side we all can agree

It warns us of danger and to all it is free

Pain is a nuisance, but serves us the same

It holds nothing back from the sickly or lame

Physical pain we may well understand

but emotional pain is like drawing in sand

Swept clean with time by the reliable tide

We give anew our heart when in others we confide

Loving another, we're always hoping to find

the oft-spoken of joy and longed-for return in kind

The kind that will last will last when everything fails

But how many times must we start anew down these trails?

I believe in a God with unlimited power to heal

but during that process, please just don't let me feel

I have given my heart holding none of it back

but the one that I love is on a different track

I love her too much to ever force a decision

but in the meantime, my heart seems in a prison

Unable to leave and abandon the memories

It seems I am living repeating histories

This road is familiar no matter my disdain

For I know it is riddled with potholes and pain

But in the depths of my heart, I wait to hear her say

"I'm ready, best friend, to marry you today."

I have no control over any but me

but please, Father, just help me see

If start again I must, then that I will do

for my ultimate goal is to be like You.

I trust in the end it will be for my good

but my fire, right now, is starving for wood

I'll trust in Thy wisdom, that it will be for my gain

but right now all I feel is this powerless, powerful pain.